>>28781
>>28764
i never "found God suddenly" what i did is feel extensively guilty and realised that what i did was wrong in the eyes of the Lord no matter the excuse. i don't get where "grift" comes from, I did honest work by providing a service that's seemingly rare to come by even today, this thread agglomerating my 2 fans is proof of that. ill admit I'm not the best at editing but I tried my best for an honest 25$ giftcard. youre really blowing the pedophile stuff out of proportion, what I did on twitter is a "funny" where edp445's face was edited unto some fat guy i skin color swapped who was behind arisu. perhaps it wont look good on a resume but edp445 didnt force himself unto any actual real life being which makes it to some extent light humour as opposed to using a rapist's face. if you like to think that im "relapsing" when replying in a thread then so be it, i do feel guilty for being here in the first place, think whatever you'd like, the truth is that seeing people chase after my shadow makes me feel valued and less lonely but i refuse to indulge in it for the last 5 or 6 months (ie. watch it, write more, rp, edit or masturbate). i dont think loneliness excuses all the smut i wrote in the past, and unfortunately, its the only thing a large amount of people gave me attention and praise for until now, no one cares about my awesome skills at outlast 1 speedrunning. when it comes to self righteousness, i never saw myself in 3rd person but: i never judged someone for being into it, i try to admit all my wrongs, what i always did is mention that porn is wrong and that there is a possibility for something better with some encouragement when i still had the server running, i know that fighting this addiction is like going against the librarian in TUNIC
(((im such a gamer))) . this thread is also proof that i cant erase my sins myself, God absolved them on the cross for me. feeling alone led and leads me to crying a lot, the suffering and struggle with the urge to commit suicide often is difficult but drowning in porn only made my depression worse in the end. Its not like i have any friends or a lover now but whatever. I know its almost impossible but hopefully you all overcome sexual immorality and flee from it as I managed to. It helps to take into account how depraved and shameful the sexual arousal for these things are, and i saw clearly that watching porn or just softcore models only degenerates either way, it might be easy to judge those who are into the suicide encouragement fetish but anyone who lets themselves get possessed by lust can end up stooping to such a tragic edge. we are all sinners so what I wish for all my "big bros" the most most most is eternal peace and health which is only found in Jesus Christ. God Bless you.