Chapter 4 12:30 12:48 1:00 1:02 1:05 It had been almost 45 minutes since my “accident”, and time was dragging on. The mess in my diaper had cooled and was getting increasingly itchy and uncomfortable. Wait a second, my diaper? Fuck that, this was their diaper. It wasn’t my decision to put it on, and it wasn’t my decision to shit myself. Well, it was, but you know what I mean. The point is, I’m not going to fall into this baby bullshit. I’m not going to go through potty training again like Mom said because I’m never going to lose my control. I only did it this time because I had no other option. The pacifier was back in my mouth, and I held it there under the threat of the laxative bottle. This served as an additional punishment to me because I was stuck breathing through my nose, and even with the windows down, every breath prevented me from ignoring what I had done. But at least my parents were stuck smelling the same thing. Fuck them, I can wait a couple more hours before I get out of this diaper if it means I can get back at them just a little bit. Looking out of the car, I saw the scenery had changed from the desert to wooded mountains, and we were going up. I was getting curious about my destination, so I let out a few noises to signal Mom and Dad that I wanted to talk. “What is it, Baby?” Responded my mother, taking the pacifier out, “Got something to say?” I stretched my jaw, glad to be free of the invading object, before asking, “Where exactly are we going?” “East. Up in the mountains.” Dad said, “I was told there will be a lot of room up there for you to run around and play, so at least you get to have some fun outside. It’s also close enough to Denver that they will take you into town from time to time to get more stuff. Powder, wipes, food, that kind of thing.” “You mean they’re going to take me out in public like this? It’s bad enough that I have people in cars gawking at me, now you’re saying they’re going to take me to stores?” Mom jumped in and replied, “Why wouldn’t they? They can’t leave a baby at home or in the car unattended. And remember, you need to be in diapers now, so nobody will think anything is wrong about it. Speaking of diapers, when do you want your change, Boo Boo? You’re pretty stinky and there’s a town coming up in a five miles.” I didn’t want a diaper change. Or rather, I did, but there was no way I was going to walk into a store to buy my own diapers before having my parents change me. Absolutely no fucking way that was going to happen. “Don’t you want a clean diaper?” She continued, turning her attention towards Dad, “Isn’t it weird how babies can be honey? One second they’re crying as if they’re dying just because they want some milk, then later you find them sitting in a dirty diaper without a fuss. I know if I had pants full of poop, I wouldn’t be a happy camper, but I guess our little one doesn’t mind sitting in his mess.” He responded, “It reminds me of that time coming home from Disney Land when he was two, remember? We didn’t hear a peep, only to look back and see poop down his legs and up his back. I sure am glad that I’m potty trained and don’t have to sit in such a mess, but I guess our little boy just hasn’t figured it out yet.” My frustration and anger grew as they talked about my toileting as if I wasn’t there, so instead of giving them what they wanted by showing how they were getting to me, I tried again to ignore them, but a few parts still came through. “And he put it in his mouth!” “The walker incident with the poop trail.” “Then he put his hand down the back of it.” “I can’t believe that we have to go through this again.” Sitting there, I started seriously thinking about the reality of my situation for the first time. Was this all for real or just bluffing? Am I actually medically considered incontinent now, or was that a lie? Am I really stuck in diapers for six months? Will I actually lose my potty training, or are they just trying to scare me? My thoughts were running at a thousand miles per hour as I was becoming painfully aware that I was now in a second infancy and there was nothing I could do about it. Maybe not now, though, but I would sure try to get out of this hell later. I returned to my previous coping mechanism of trying to will the time away. 1:30 1:36 1:55 3:00 Is it 3:00 already? I must have fallen asleep again. We were now way up in the mountains and Mom was back behind the wheel. The next thing I noticed was a familiar ache in my bladder and my rumbling stomach. No. Please not again. The itch in the diaper had become an unpleasant stinging and I had no desire to add anything new to my filthy pants. Dad must have noticed me awake again, and said, “Is naptime over, little guy? We only have about an hour and half left on the road, are you sure you don’t want a diaper change? I bet everyone in the county can smell you.” Yeah, and you can keep smelling it, prick. If I have to be in this situation, you can share in the misery. “Still ‘no’ on the diaper change?” I heard from Mom, “Maybe instead of calling you Boo Boo Bunny, your name should be Poo Poo Bunny.” My cheeks flushed as I rolled my eyes, and I felt another cramp from my belly. What was in those bottles? Did they lie to me and every one of them had laxatives in them? Just an hour and a half left though. I can make it. I can make it. Fifteen excruciating minutes later, I knew I wasn’t going to make it, and my parents did too. I tried to discretely ease some of the pressure in my gut, but what I thought would be a silent fart was much noisier due to the soiled diaper, and Mom pounced on this opportunity to further humiliate me. “Oh my, is our little baby making more poopies? Judging by your face, it looks like you’re about to lose the fight, Boo Boo, but that’s ok. Let’s just hope your diaper can hold it all.” Oh fuck. Despite the earlier discussion about my accidents as a baby, it hadn’t occurred to me that here and now, shit might come out of the diaper and get on my clothes. I let out another round of gas and it felt like something semi-solid came out with it, but I couldn’t tell for sure. The way the fart was trapped inside the diaper was a uniquely disturbing experience as it moved through the existing filth and popped against my balls. I shuddered from the feeling and from understanding that was the last time I would get away with releasing anything that wasn’t more poop. Hard braking Everything in the car, including the occupants, flew forward as we narrowly avoided hitting a deer. The instantaneous break in my concentration combined with the harness on the seat pushing into my stomach resulted in an explosion from my ass. Unlike last time, this excretion was runny and it hastily squished into any available space, but with the crotch strap of the seat still firmly embedded in my groin, the limits of the diaper’s capability were immediately exceeded. I couldn’t tell where the diaper failed first, but in the next few seconds, shit went everywhere. I felt it pouring over the rear waistband and continue moving up and sideways across my back. Meanwhile, my crotch was receiving a similar treatment as the mess escaped the padding, creeping down my legs and filling my shorts. Just when I thought it was over, I started peeing, continuing the ruining of my clothes and seat when piss started overflowing from the front. When I was finally finished, I dared to look down to survey the damage and I nearly threw up. My light blue shorts were now mostly yellowish-brown, with distinct wet stains following the outline of the diaper down the front. The thin fabric easily revealed that the insides of my legs were entirely covered in poop, and between them, a pool of liquid feces was forming under my butt. I couldn’t see behind me, but I could feel the mess moving over the whole lower half of my back when I tried to turn. My mind went blank as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. No complete thoughts would form, only single words that seemed to come from some place of primal or infantile simplicity. Dirty. Stinky. Change. Messy. Wet. Change. Uncomfortable. Slimy. Change. I need my diaper changed. I began to cry again and I didn’t try to stop it. I wanted to cry because, in that moment, it felt like the only appropriate response to being covered in my own waste. I needed to be cleaned up, so I needed to cry. It made so much sense. “What is it Boo—oh my god!” I guess that was Mom’s first reaction to seeing her son in such a pathetic state, then I heard Dad’s: “God dammit I jinxed it by talking about Disney Land.” Without making eye contact, I found a moment in my gasping sobs and I let my thoughts become words in the only way that would save me from my disgusting situation. “I need my diaper changed.” I tried to say it as calmly and normally as someone my age could when asking for such a thing, but crying so much made it come out with a childish squeak one might expect when hearing such a statement. “Hold on, Pumpkin, we’ll get you changed, we just need to find a store to get you more diapers and clothes.” “We can’t take him into a store like this. A regular dirty diaper would be doable, but there’s poop all over him.” “Then I can just run in and get diapers and we change him in the car. Look at him, we can’t leave our little boy like this for another hour.” “I was told that he goes into the store to buy his own diapers, or he doesn’t get a change. The reason he’s in this situation in the first place is discipline, and we can’t compromise on it. It’s only another hour, he’ll live.” “Dad, please. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll be good from now on, just get me out of this diaper.” My voice was frail and unconvincing, because he just grabbed the pacifier and pushed it between my lips to silence me. “We’re going to have quiet time now until we get there.” He said, unclipping the pacifier strap from my shirt, “Don’t spit it out, ok? If it falls in your lap or on the seat, you won’t be happy when it goes back in your mouth.” My eyes went wide and filled with new tears at the thought of Dad actually doing such a thing. I didn’t want to believe he would, but considering this whole nightmarish car ride was real, I didn’t want to tempt him. I began sucking as my sobbing continued. Eventually, I had cried myself dry, yet I could not stop helplessly mewling from behind the pacifier for the final miles of this hellish journey. Chapter 5 “Hello? Yes this is she. Yep, we’re only ten minutes or so away. No, he didn’t go for the diaper change, so please roll out the changing mat because we have a very poopy boy in our back seat. Oh yeah, you’ll see how bad it is when we get there, see you in a bit.” Finally. Still sucking the pacifier, I was shivering in my seat from the wetness and muck that had since cooled. I definitely had a diaper rash by now on my ass, but I was starting to feel the same discomfort in my crotch and inner thighs from being trapped in a puddle of excrement. At this point, the only thing I cared about was getting clean. It didn’t matter if they dressed me in another diaper and stupid baby clothes, as long as they were clean and dry and I got a shower first. The car meandered up a narrow dirt road for those last minutes, and all I could see were dense trees on either side. I had already contemplated the idea that my parents had gone completely insane and this situation wasn’t helping their case. How do they know this place doesn’t just throw people into a dark hole? Did they give me diaper rash so I would later put the lotion on the skin? Moments later, we turned left and the trees fell away to expose a wide clearing with a large, two-floor house at its center. In front of the building was a small playground, but as we got closer, I saw that certain pieces of it were noticeably larger than what would be at the average city park, and Mom did too. “Won’t that be fun to play on, Boo Boo? Maybe you can go outside tomorrow, but for today, you just need a bath, some clean clothes, and a tour of the house.” Could you promise it will be in that order? We finally stopped at the end of the long driveway and a woman came out to meet us pushing some kind of cart. Both of my parents stepped out of the car to meet her and closed their doors behind them, leaving me to watch a conversation I couldn’t hear while I awaited my fate. I was shaking a bit more now and it wasn’t because of the state of my pants and seat. Was I scared? Yeah, a little bit. I know it’s not cool to admit that, but try getting kidnapped by your parents and sitting in your own shit for hours and then tell me how you feel. The conversation paused as they turned back to the car and opened my door. As terrible as everything was, I was happy that I was going to be unstrapped from this seat and stretch out my limbs. I took in a welcome breath of fresh air as Dad started working on getting me out of the car seat. Next, I felt the entire seat move as I was hoisted out of the car and set backwards on the cart, which I now discovered was a baby stroller. I wanted to scream in frustration but I had a greater desire to not drop my pacifier into the repulsive swamp below. “Aww, so this is the little guest we’ve been waiting for!” The woman said. “You definitely need a diaper change, young man. Come along and we’ll get you cleaned up.” Nothing more was said as I was wheeled through the front door, but I was stuck looking backwards as my parents pushed me forwards. Not being able to see where I was going in this strange home didn’t help my anxiety and fear, but the look on my parents’ faces relaxed me slightly. “Oh wow,” I heard from Dad, then from Mom, “This is amazing! This is perfect for a little boy.” “Have you thought of a name for him yet?” The unknown woman asked. “Boo Boo,” Mom responded without hesitation, “he’s going to be our little Boo Boo Bunny.” “That’s a wonderful name for such a precious boy. He’s going to fit in so well here.” Of course that’s what she chose. And what’s with this lady? A precious boy? Has she seen my rap sheet? We continued through the house until I could finally see some details, and it was both disturbing and relieving at the same time. This place looked just like a day care center for toddlers, except everything was scaled up. In the living room were a couple bouncers for someone my size, and from what I could see of the kitchen, there were high chairs, booster seats, and a rack of drying sippy cups and bottles. The walls were painted in bright colors that were occasionally interrupted by scenes of diapered rabbit characters playing. My attention shifted elsewhere when I heard a door open and the woman say, “Let’s get our Boo Boo in here and out of that stinky diaper.”